By Alfred Jarry
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Extra info for The Ubu Plays: Includes: Ubu Rex; Ubu Cuckolded; Ubu Enchained
How terrible! I’m demise! I’m suffocating! It’s biting me! It’s swallowing me! It’s digesting me! PA UBU. It’s lifeless, you freak! Oh, yet perhaps it isn’t finally. Lord, no, it’s no longer useless, let’s break out. (Climbing up onto his rock back. ) Pater noster qui es ... MA UBU (emerging from underneath the BEAR). Now where’s he received to? PA UBU. Oh Lord, there she is back! Am I going to be saddled with this silly whinge for ever? Is that endure useless? MA UBU. Saddle your self, you donkey. convinced, it’s stiff already. How did it get right here? PA UBU (confused). I don’t recognize. Oh convinced, I bear in mind. It desired to devour Heads and Tails and that i killed it single-handed with one blow of my paternoster. MA UBU. Heads, Tails, paternoster — what’s he happening approximately ? He’s off his rocker, the foolish chump. PA UBU. It’s the gospel fact, I’m telling you, you bumboozlofaced fool. MA UBU. inform me all approximately your crusade, Captain Ubu. PA UBU. No, no, it can take too lengthy. All i do know is that regardless of my incontestable valour, everybody defeated me. MA UBU. What, even the Poles ? PA UBU. They have been all shouting ‘Long dwell Wenceslas and Boggerlas ! ’ i assumed they have been going to rip me to items. What madmen! after which they lynched Renski. MA UBU. I couldn’t care much less! you recognize that Boggerlas slaughtered the Palcontent Gyron ? PA UBU. I couldn’t care much less! after which they lynched bad Laski. MA UBU. I couldn’t care much less! PA UBU. Oh, that’s really adequate from you. Come right here, carrion, and kneel earlier than your grasp. (He seizes her and forces her to her knees. ) you're approximately to endure the extraordinary penalty. MA UBU. Ow, ow, ow, Mister Ubu! PA UBU. have you ever relatively comprehensive along with your ow, ow, ows? simply because now I’m going to start: twisting of the nostril, tearing out of the hair, penetration of the nearoles via the little wood choose, extraction of the brain-matter in terms of the heels, laceration of the posterior, partial or maybe overall suppression of the spinal marrow (thus confirming the truth that the sufferer is a spineless creature), let alone the puncturing of the swimming-bladder, and at last the grand new edition of the decollation of St John the Baptist as laid out in the main Holy Scriptures of either the outdated and New Testaments, as edited, corrected and perfectioned by way of yours actually the here-present grasp of Phynances! How does that fit you, puddinghead ? He starts off tearing her to items. MA UBU. Mercy, mercy, Mister Ubu, Sir! Loud noise on the front to the cave. SCENE an identical. BOGGERLAS, storming the cave along with his squaddies. BOGGERLAS. ahead, my associates! lengthy stay Poland! PA UBU. hi there there, only a minute, Mister Polack. Wait until eventually I’m via with madam my worse part. BOGGERLAS (striking him). Take that, coward, scavenger, scoundrel, infidel, Mussulman! PA UBU (countering). Take that, nice clot, pisspot, son of a harlot, nose-snot, bigot, faggot, gut-rot, squawking parrot, Huguenot! MA UBU (hitting him too). Take that, pork-snout, layabout, whore’s tout, pox-riddled spout, idle lout, boy scout, Polish Kraut. the warriors hurl themselves at the UBUS who safeguard themselves as most sensible they could.